Surely you have heard about the benefits of mindfulness and other meditation practices: stress reduction, emotional management, greater concentration, increased well-being, floating 2 cm from the ground (okay, I made this one up, but it is true that sometimes Sometimes you get to feel so comfortable that you seem to float).
However, you may suspect that meditation is "not for you." You may have even checked it out, because when you tried it your mind was spinning like a washing machine at 2000 rpm. There was no stopping her!
I understand you well. It happens to me too. And that I run a school of mindfulness.
Every time I sit down to meditate in the morning, I find again that I am AWFUL. At first I thought it was my lack of experience, but over the years I resigned myself to the fact that my mind was not designed for inner peace. When I sat in a room full of people meditating, perfectly still and with a beatific expression, I would get frustrated. What would they have that I didn't?
Fortunately, one day I discovered the secret. The true secret of meditation.
I'm going to tell you.
you are not aloneyou
The secret is very simple: everyone is FATAL to meditate. The human brain is indeed not designed for inner peace. It is designed for survival, and therefore to search for the things you love (like chocolate or the next episode of your favorite series) and avoid the things you hate (like cockroaches and traffic jams on the road).
Day and night, he explains to you that “you would be better off” if you did this or that: scratch yourself, put on a sweater, have a beer, insult the bureaucrat in front of you, redecorate the living room, buy a more powerful mobile. And she not only tells you about it in a friendly way, but she pushes you to do it. As soon as you get distracted, you will obey without even realizing it. But whatever you do, your brain will never be completely at ease. He always has some new suggestion to “be better”. And if it doesn't have it, it will go round and round (like that washing machine in spin mode) until it finds it.
This is precisely why we need this type of practice: to regain some control. But paradoxically, to achieve this, it is necessary to give up this same controlling tendency (which is another example of pursuing what you like and avoiding what you don't). It is about observing and even welcoming what is in your mind, in your body, in your heart and in your environment, just as it is. No need to change anything. Without judging what you find in this moment. With a curious and friendly attitude. In this way, we learn to enjoy what we already have and accept even what we don't like.
The problem is that when we sit on the cushion, we tend to strive for one of these things:
- The calm
- The "blank" mind
- the heart in peace
- The happiness
- nirvana
- The virtue
- universal love
- The ability to float 2 cm from the ground
If so, you're going to get frustrated very quickly.
Think of the surfers
Have you ever tried surfing? I do, but I haven't lasted even two seconds standing on the board. It is a very difficult sport—almost, almost impossible. If you notice, even the best surfers in the world last very little time balanced on the wave. Thirty seconds is already a lot, and sixty I don't even tell you. I've looked at the statistics and it turns out that professional surfers spend more than 95% of their time in the water.
The same thing happens with meditation. Also with other contemplative practices such as yoga. As much as you try to keep your balance on the wave of now, you're going to fall a thousand times. Even people who have been meditating all their lives continue to lose their balance, like professional surfers. However, just as these athletes develop formidable physical abilities over time, those who meditate also strengthen mental abilities such as concentration, mental clarity and resilience. And these skills allow you to enjoy the benefits that I mentioned at the beginning.
Therefore, do not get overwhelmed if you are constantly distracted when you meditate. It is not about maintaining perfect concentration, or achieving lasting inner peace. It's about training every day, keeping yourself in good mental shape, and getting back on the "wave of now" every time you fall. By doing so you are creating new neural connections that reinforce your attention. Therefore, every time you get distracted is actually a new opportunity to train this ability. Over time, you will be able to catch longer and longer waves.
Welcome to inner surfing.
Eduardo Jáuregui is a collaborator of Healthywork, director of the school of mindfulness BeingMode and author of books translated into 20 languages. In June 2022 he will publish with the publishing house Urano Meditating is FATAL for me: Guide to Mindfulness for lifelong human beings.